TIP 1: RELAX

Going to the strip club doesn’t make you some sort of pervert. You can do that all on your own without our help. No need to be nervous. Buy the ticket, take the ride.

TIP 2: BRING YOUR FRIENDS

Nearly everything is more fun in groups. No one wants to miss the look on their friend’s face when he finds his high school sweetheart on stage, and you really don’t want to be the guy who gets to hear the story second hand the next day..

TIP 3: TIP THE GIRLS

Strippers work for tips. It’s that simple. You don’t have to throw Mad Ducats on the stage for every song but if you’re a cheapskate sitting in the back row, the girls will move on and find someone to help pay their tuition.

TIP 4: TIP EVERYONE

The club staff will always appreciate an extra dollar or two. Who doesn’t? The bouncers will be quicker to find your favorite girl if they know there is a little something in it for them. We shouldn’t need to explain the benefits of a heavy tip to your bartender, good tips = stiff drinks. Even the DJ will respond to a little green in his hand. If you’re not a big fan of Shania Twain, a song request written on a $20 bill will probably fix the music selection.

TIP 5: DON’T BE A DICKHEAD

Seems easy. There is no faster way to ruin your night and that of everyone around you. The world is full of dickheads. Help us reduce the foreskin footprint of the world. It’s also important to remember that the bouncers are just waiting to prove themselves on the biggest ass hat they can find.

TIP 6: DRESS FOR THE EVENING

Like the song says, every girl crazy ’bout a sharp dressed man. Getting a little attention from the ladies in the club is always easier if you’re not covered in axle grease or smell like a carnival toilet. After a long day at work, it can be very tempting to go straight to the club to see your favorite painted lady. Trust us, take the time to stop off at home and grab a shower. The evening you save may be your own.

TIP 7: WATCH YOUR STUFF

It’s sad to say but strip clubs are a good environment for pickpockets and thieves of opportunity. While your busy at the stage learning the new limits of female flexibility, the guy who walked out the door with your coat will soon be learning the limits of your credit cards.

TIP 8: LEARN ORIGAMI

Folding dollar bills into interesting shapes can be more fun than you imagine. We’ve know dancers to keep tiny little animals made from cash for years and likely remember the guy who gave it to them. You probably shouldn’t use anything larger than a $1 though. No matter how well constructed your tiny bunny is, if it is made from a $100 bill, that bitch is getting spent tomorrow.

TIP 9: KEEP THAT CAMERA PHONE IN YOUR POCKET

Many dancers are shy about cameras, and so are most Senators sitting in the background. Nearly every strip club has an anti photography policy. If you really need that picture of your buddy with the hot girls be sure to ask before you take the shot.

TIP 10: MAKE SOME NOISE.

This ain’t church brother. No need to sit in the back like a mouse keeping to yourself. Clap those hands and let the girls know you like what they are doing. Sing along to the music. Use those lungs and scream a little. Cut loose a little and enjoy.